Posted in Satire by sirsatire on September 10th, 2008
After seven years, scientists are now able to explain why the Twin Towers collapsed on Sept. 11, 2001, even though fires were well below the 1,500C melting point of the buildings’ steel girders.
The discovery that unusual chemical cutting charges and demolition explosives made the girders weak by blowing them to pieces finally puts to rest bizarre scientific theories designed to avoid revealing that Sept. 11 was, in fact, an act of treason committed by the Bush administration for political gain.
Retired physics professor Steven Jones found that steel loses its strength when chemically melted by thermite — or its more powerful cousin thermate — and the steel undergoes a physical transition from big pieces to small pieces due to demolition charges exploding next to it. The steel didn’t collapse — it just became blown-to-pieces. It is an unusual condition caused by the pre-planting of explosives by a team of demolition experts hired as part of a false-flag operation, which was designed to make the American people think they were attacked in order to gain their support in changing from a constitutional republic to a global empire ruled by a neoconservative junta.
“Understanding how neoconservatives behave means we can find the right ‘justice’ to make the U.S. Constitution stronger after acts of high treason,” Jones said. “And if this work can be used in other applications, such as safeguarding democratic republics against would-be tyrants, so much the better.”
Jones also said he was able to rule out an alternative theory based on magnetism by using three of his brain cells while analyzing it, and trying hard not to laugh while doing so.
