Neoconservative forces to blame for 9/11 tower collapses

Posted in Satire by sirsatire on September 10th, 2008

After seven years, scientists are now able to explain why the Twin Towers collapsed on Sept. 11, 2001, even though fires were well below the 1,500C melting point of the buildings’ steel girders.

The discovery that unusual chemical cutting charges and demolition explosives made the girders weak by blowing them to pieces finally puts to rest bizarre scientific theories designed to avoid revealing that Sept. 11 was, in fact, an act of treason committed by the Bush administration for political gain.

Retired physics professor Steven Jones found that steel loses its strength when chemically melted by thermite — or its more powerful cousin thermate — and the steel undergoes a physical transition from big pieces to small pieces due to demolition charges exploding next to it. The steel didn’t collapse — it just became blown-to-pieces. It is an unusual condition caused by the pre-planting of explosives by a team of demolition experts hired as part of a false-flag operation, which was designed to make the American people think they were attacked in order to gain their support in changing from a constitutional republic to a global empire ruled by a neoconservative junta.

“Understanding how neoconservatives behave means we can find the right ‘justice’ to make the U.S. Constitution stronger after acts of high treason,” Jones said. “And if this work can be used in other applications, such as safeguarding democratic republics against would-be tyrants, so much the better.”

Jones also said he was able to rule out an alternative theory based on magnetism by using three of his brain cells while analyzing it, and trying hard not to laugh while doing so.

Doomsday Government

1991 CNN Report: Secret Succession Plans Grants Cheney Special Authorities During Disaster

Devlin Buckley | OEN | July 20, 2008

“In the United States of America there is a hidden government about which you know nothing.”

So begins a revealing television exposé aired by CNN in 1991. The hour-long Special Assignment presented the findings of a yearlong CNN investigation into the ultra-secretive Continuity of Government (COG) program, commonly referred to as the “doomsday government” or the “shadow government”.

The COG program was originally designed in the 1950s to ensure the survival of the federal government in the event of a nuclear attack. The highly secretive emergency plans were substantially upgraded during the 1980s and have become a focus point of the current administration, particularly since the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001.

The COG program, which until recent years was believed to be reserved for nuclear disasters, was officially activated for the first time during the 9/11 attacks. The program, according to the most recent reports, was never completely shut down. Portions of the “shadow government” are presumably still operating to this day.

Recent efforts to reform and expand the emergency protocols, according to the best available reports, have been led by Vice President Dick Cheney, who played a major role in the COG program during the Reagan Administration.

The underground program is historically run out of the office of the Vice President through a clandestine agency, identified by CNN as the National Program Office (NPO).

In 1991, CNN found the Continuity of Government program and National Program Office to be rife with waste, fraud, and abuse.

The CNN report also disclosed the existence of a secret succession plan that would allow individuals outside of government to take positions of power in the event of a national emergency.